Damn I am so hurt and so angry that he has that much control over me. Steve has had $200.00 wells Fargo gift card in his pocket since 07/29/2009. I have been trying to pay off all the returned checks and get the bank account straightened out and pay all the bills on time this month. Didn't buy any groceries until yesterday once all was paid and even sent a $50.00 Walmart gift card to his son as they didn't have groceries either. This was all from money I begged the church for when he said I needed to leave as he prefers DINA and his simulated sex in second life over living with me. I won't let my youngest son borrow money to help me get to Chicago so I can sign up for indigent care in his area. They have no room for me and it is not his families place to take care of me, it is my husbands or mine. As I have no income except 717.00 SSDI per month and that goes to cover the bills here I am just not going to buy his shit. I am staying put until I can figure out a way to either move out to an area I can afford or I am going to sit here till I die and pray they charge him with neglect of a old,disabled person.
I threatened to go to the police and say the bruises and cuts on me were domestic abuse if he doesn't sit down and really talk to me and do it now. He claimed he had not been talking to DINA but I caught him on line with her again last night. All he does is lie and then call his MOMMA and lie to her about how bad he has it. I crawled on my knees pushing the vacuum cleaner to do the floors so he couldn't say I don't keep the house clean. I drive my old 1988 pickup with no Ac in 100+ heat so he won't have to let me borrow his air conditioned car not that he would.. Oh yeah I paid for his damn car and still will have to make 4 more payments as well as pay for his insurance. Yep I still have the morals and love to want all the bills paid off and him to not be left with anything owing when he finally kicks me out. I guess I am just a really bad person that way. I even thought about killing myself after I caught him on the 2nd life site with her last night,but I refuse to let him chose when I die.
Well he is out eating lunch with someone and on the phone to whomever glad he can afford to do that. Me I am eating a peanut butter sandwich for my one meal today. I guess I will end this post with a simple request please pray for me my MS has really flared today and he took me off his insurence and I have no way to get help if it gets worse and no money for meds if I could see a doctor.
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